My leadership almost ended in 1 week. Here’s what saved it

And how you can turn setbacks into career-defining moments

Jan 2009. The month I had sleepless nights.

Almost, every day.

I just got promoted as a team leader. I had 6 people in my team.

All of them went and complained to our Director asking for a manager change.

And I got feedback from my director a week later.

I thought this was the end of the road for my “leadership career”.

Little did I know that this was one of the most powerful beginnings I could ever have or ask for.

One cold winter morning, I stood in front of my team with fear in my heart and hope in my eyes.

And asked a simple question.

“What should I change?”

That changed everything.

Minutes felt like hours. One by one, people opened up. They shared their frustrations and displeasures. Slowly, they started sharing about their lives, hobbies and joys too.

For the first time, I related to them as fellow co-workers and not as a manager. Because, no one told me or coached me for this role. I was pushed into it.

And this was a painful but valuable lesson. Saved me years of potential heartburn about leading people.

People don’t care about what you do. They care about what you can do for them.

I pondered the lesson. Felt it was selfish in some way. But, I also expect my manager to do things for me. To help me grow and get promoted.

Right?

Interesting… Led me to my second revelation.

Maybe, that’s why I’m their team leader in the first place. To help them thrive and grow. Same goes for my manager too.

So, to help them thrive and grow… I need their trust.

To get that, they need to know who I am.

To know who I am, I have to be open and approachable.

So far so good…

But nothing happens without the spark of connection.

Let me explain.

When I shared more of myself while being open, I got a similar response. Folks shared more of themselves.

Great. Here is where magic happened.

Both them and I - we increased the surface area of our contact.

Meaning, we created space and time to know each other.

Suddenly, something common popped up. Actually, more than one sometimes.

Cricket. Fishing. Jogging. Driving.

Now we’re talking like long lost friends.

Back in that room on that cold morning, I learnt years of leadership wisdom in just a hour of interacting with people.

When you authentically show up, everything changes.

You connect better with others.
You get your work done through them
You carry less stress back home from work.
You kick “burnout” in the back and “overwhelm” in the front.

You begin to start THRIVING.

What’s one thing you’ll want to change after reading my story?

Thanks for being here, I’ll see you next Tuesday at 10 am IST.

Vijaya